she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
