thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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