I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
