the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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