just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
