really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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