1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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