Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he fucked my hip out of place.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
