well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
