Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
