So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
