For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
