I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
