i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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