At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize