:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
