Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
