yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
