At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
