I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
