I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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