Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
how does that bad decision feel?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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