Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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