Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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