I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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