I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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