i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
