I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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