he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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