she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
