I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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