i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
