Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
