dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Randomize
