This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize