Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
