The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
