Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize