I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
