dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
my shit smells like andre
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Randomize
