I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
