Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
