Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
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