I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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