is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
