I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Randomize
