so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
