5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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