I'm gonna have a badass scar
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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