Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
