Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
