I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
