My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
