Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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