i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
