Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
