I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm like, not good at living.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
