i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
