Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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