things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
