did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Less talking, more tequila
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
