Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
