it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
