Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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