I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
