I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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