So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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