Jerry, you need to find god
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
