I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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