please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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