There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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