Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
